you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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