i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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