But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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