The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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