you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
