Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
