glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
