Need sex. Gaining weight.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
