you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
