i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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