brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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