and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize