Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's blow job season.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
