Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i was born a porn star she said
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize