saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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