Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
