i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
