How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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