why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
