im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
