it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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