Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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