i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
