He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
