so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
