so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
