Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We had sex on a dog bed..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
