People with herpes should wear stickers.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
