he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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