She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
