i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
