i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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