ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
