She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
