you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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