it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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