I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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