His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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