can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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