Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
