I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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