Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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