Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
