so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So much rum. So many feels.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
