when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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