that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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