So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
