Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You took a bar mat shot.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
