friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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