I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
