omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
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