I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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