Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
