She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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