Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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