hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
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