he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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