she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize