I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
