Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
