i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
