I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize