thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
