It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
