I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
