Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
