During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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