I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
