Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
