i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize